I don't know if you give relationship advice.. but I just thought I'd give this a shot. I've been dating a guy for about a month now. I've never met anyone I've had this much in common with, or clicked with so fast. I really like getting to know him, and I want to wait to have sex. The other night he dropped a bit of a (necessary) bomb on me. For the past year he's been on medication (didn't tell me what for). It's really messed with his sex drive, and as of late, he's been experiencing a bit of ED. He found out this past week from his doctor, that this is quite normal from this medication, and just to take two months off from sex/self pleasure, and things should go back to normal. Now, this is completely fine with me. Two months is hardly an eternity, and I wanted to wait anyway. Unfortunately, he told me that since he's used to dealing with things on his own, he'd rather not date me right now and just be friends. I feel as though this isn't a "line" because we've actually made plans to hang out next week. Every time I tried to get a straight answer out of him in terms of; are we taking a two moth break, then getting back together, or, are we just going to be friends with no hope of a relationship... he is unable to give me a proper answer. I need advice on what to do. Should I keep "hanging out" with him in the hopes that he sees I'm there for him and then ultimately wants a relationship... or should I cut and run?
I am not a self-proclaimed relationship expert. BUT I've learned a tremendous amount in just my 27 years. I mean a lot. One thing I have learned is that most guys try to distance themselves when they get closer in a relationship or if they're going through a hard time. Try no to take it personally. It happened to me under different circumstances. In one of my last relationships, my ex was going through a hard time with his career and is the type of guy who prefers dealing with “hard times” on his own. I’m absolutely the opposite. I need my close friends & family to help me get through those times. So I never really understood it. But people are different. I tried to imagine if we were married and he was going through a hard time and shunned me away, that would eat at me and probably ruin our relationship. After a brutal 1 year on and off, I was miserable because I decided to stay even though he was distancing himself. I was the unhappiest I have ever been in my life. It ruined our relationship and it somewhat ruined a part of me. I think when a guy is honest with you about how he wants to proceed in the relationship, you listen because it’s hard enough to admit the truth sometimes. When I finally set my guy free, he never came back. All you can really do is relieve yourself of constantly fighting to have a “real relationship” and set him free. Trust me, he will come back if he wants to be with you. But don’t waste the little time you have here on earth pretending it’s something else. If he doesn’t come back, you should be really proud of yourself. Many people stay in unsatisfying relationships to say they tried. I think you should face reality sooner than later. Be honest and maybe have a conversation about how you feel with him and be open to talking about his situation. It may be hard for him to console with anyone about this. So offering an ear to listen is the best thing you can do. Every relationship is different so don’t base everything off of my experience. But the biggest lesson I learned is to face reality and not to be afraid to leave someone because they aren’t giving you what you deserve. Giving up is the hardest part but when one door closes, another one will open. Maybe not immediately but it will. There is going to be someone out there who will exceed your expectations. Sometimes, relationship can bring you down. Trust your instinct. Maybe not give up on this one yet. Good luck, I have faith everything will work out for you. And if you want to write me again, I’m always here!
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