Most of my posts come from personal inspiration and this weekend was overly abundant in one category. All of my girlfriends had seemingly come down with a case of the “cray cray” – including myself!
I can only hope that you are just like me and my friends, otherwise this post may not make sense; or there could be something wrong with you, in which case I may take comfort in that. Nevertheless, there comes a time when girls find “that guy.” The one that is Mr. Perfect for right now. This weekend it seemed to happen for all of us – even those of us with boyfriends suffered from the worst disease of “Over-Analysis Syndrome” leading to plenty of ‘analyses’ about those ‘analyses’ over mimosas at Sunday Brunch.
Common Gripes included:
The Whine: “I just don’t get why he wouldn’t text me – I mean we had a really fun time!”
The Regretter: “I just don’t know, I just don’t know, I don’t want to like him, I just don’t know.”
The Lost Identity: “I can’t believe I texted him! What was I thinking! Ugh I’ve turned into that needy girl. I’m a lawyer for Christ sake!”
The Oh Sh*t: “Him! I went home with him? He still burps in my face!”
The Princess: “Oh my GOD! I think I may have met the One – Does that sound crazy? Whatever, love is crazy.” [Insert ethereal smile here]
Picture this. Somehow after a night of consuming your poison of choice you’re not only convinced that he’s basically perfect but that you are going to spend a perfect night together. About 2 glasses of wine, a mixed drink and a tequila shot later thinking past 7 a.m. the next morning (aka. forever) just doesn’t seem possible. There may be cuddling, there may be kissing and who knows if you’re like a lot of girls you may just take it one step ‘too far’ on the first date/bar meeting etc.
All of this in its seeming perfection from the day before doesn’t not even compare to the Operation Desert Storm that whirls around in our head in the coming days after said “perfect evening.” This guy may be a 6 (sorry to disappoint boys but we rank you all too!) but after itemizing your “cray cray” checklist you convince yourself of the following:
- “Ya, I’d go on a date with him.”
- “If he got rid of habits 1, 2 and 3 – he’d be perfect.”
- “If he would just get his shit together – this could work.”
- “Whatever, I can do this for a few months and keep my options open.”
and so on…
Well if you are currently sober (yes, at this very moment!), 90% of what I just said in the above opening paragraphs seems totally psycho. This is the part where if this was a friend we would look at them and say, “Get a grip!” “If he calls, he calls.” “He may be around this weekend – so if he wants to get in touch with you, he will.” But for some reason the advice we give isn’t something we always practice. With the veil of ‘cute boy’ clouding our ‘oh so stable vision’ we become ‘TOTAL GIRLS!’ Endless thinkers and own worst enemies in any situation where we are still in that frame of mind.
The suffrage that comes with this disease that takes over our body is like that of a common cold - it isn’t in us and we will never admit that virus started inside our own bodies. Rather it was some spontaneous amoeba that came and left after some good antibiotics, or in this case, friends who are there to tell you when you’re being a “TOTAL GIRL!”
The best advice I can give is find that non-biased third party that will talk some friend sense into you. Not the harsh antics that will leave you living the life of an old cat lady. It does take two to foster a relationship after all. But as most girls know, it only takes one slip of the “Cray, Cray – Over-Analysis Sydrome – TOTAL GIRL!” state of mind to send Mr. Right now running for the hills. Who knows there may come a day where you can put on your big girl pants and ask him out, but until then maintain and perfect your mysterious luster.
Best of luck and good riddance to us all!