We have all been through the night where you wake up in the morning and look at your phone utterly horrified by your digital behavior. Though there may not be a tiger in the bathroom and for your sake you’re a way better looking version of Zach Galifianakis you lay there in bed trying to piece together the fuzzy digital trail that you left on your phone. With every swipe of your thumb you swat your face in disappointment after every text, drunk tweet and bad picture sent to your internship fling back in New York – yep speaking from personal experience - no judgments please.
As you try and convince yourself that you are too old to play games and telling the guy you met last week at the gym that you like him is a good thing – you’re just being mature and honest; we all know that when he doesn’t text back, you just get to sit there with a pending ulcer that may or may not spare you a few calories at your grease filled brunch. Clearly eating your feelings with a pile of eggs will solve all of your problems.
We’ll have no fear – your digital life may be spared because whatever liquid also happens to give your thumbs a floozy like personality of their own – it can be solved. There’s an app, for all of that!
Check out the top five apps – aimed to cure your digital desperation and leaving you with a new kind of fresh every Friday, Saturday or other days…
Textalyzer - $.99 on the App Store
Ever feel like you didn’t want to send the “Hey baby what are you up to?” 2 a.m. text? Or better yet respond to the “Wanna come over?” text. Well consider the muddied waters of your digital despair over. Textalyzer uses games to grasp your level of parti-age and becomes the designated driver of your thumbs when they look like they are waving a little too close to the keyboard. Have a tendency to text late night? This may be the app for you.
Drunk Dial No - $.99 on the App Store
More of a talker? Trust me whatever brilliant idea you have to make your company millions (or so you think) or love profession you think needed some liquid courage/babysitting technique to make sure your flame isn’t going home with anyone else – it all can wait. Your idea if so brilliant will be there in the morning and if your flame isn’t calling you anyway – the touchable keypad wasn’t worth touching to begin with. No pun intended. After selecting the contacts that you’re looking to ban, the app asks how long you’d like to keep yourself from calling them – and the ban wont lift until the allotted time has passed – no if ands or butts, pun intended.
SnapChat – Free on the App Store
Oh, the brilliant beyond brilliant idea that sending photos of your night out to friends is a good idea. Let’s just say fat chance they in all of their hilarity will stay off social networks. Well if you happen to turn into a party picks photographer – this is the app for you. Snapchat allows users to set a timer up to 10 seconds of when the message would self-destruct after being received. If the receiver tries to take a screenshot, then the sender will be instantly notified – goodbye private messages and SMS whoopsies with this app a sneak preview is all they get! (Which should be no sneak preview at all mind you!)
So spare your fingers and your exes – I think we all know those drunk texters, callers, facebookers and tweeters. I have seen many a tweet past a two a.m. timestamp. If you’re really dedicated there is even a drunk E-mail setting on Gmail! It’s called Mail Goggles – operating like Textalyzer using games to make sure your 2 a.m. brilliance doesn’t escape you. Best of luck with your digital garbage trail – I can say one of the above has saved me from all kinds of shame in the past week… again, no judgements.